Pervy Bunny
by AnimeDutchess
Summary: Oneshot, AkuRoku, AU. Roxas is snarky. He's probably perverted. He's cute as a baby bunny. And Axel loves to get on his nerves.


_**Pervy Bunny**_

By AnimeDutchess

A/N: Oh, man...Compy's being a bitch again, buuuut...i shall do my best to give you all a nice little oneshot!

...

Disclaimer: AD can't possibly own Kingdom Hearts...she would have sold it to Xemnas for a poopload of dough! XD And she isn't sure if Tolstoy is Russian, either. She's going on a hunch and some damn reliable memory banks...

...

This is dedicated to DragonRose888 (Wonny). I actually came up with this personality for Roxas during our crazily awesome RP sessions, so technically, she's responsible for this. XD;; enjoy, please!

...

Roxas really loved to read things by Tolstoy.

He didn't know why, exactly. Maybe it had to do with that one writing teacher he had a few years back who had always raved about the guy. Maybe it had to do with the crazy teacher of his AP Russian class who gave him extra credit when he read the stuff in its original format. Maybe he just wanted to look the part of a sexy, emo nerd.

He wasn't either of those things, anyway; sure, his hair was this insane mass of perfectly blonde spikes, and he'd inherited his family's big, innocent, electric blue eyes. Sure, he was pale, with a perfect complexion, and often wore whatever what was new at Hot Topic. And sure, he had the nerdy, thick rimmed glasses that he used to read.

But other than that, he was SO not attractive. At least, that's what he thought.

The new guy would convince him otherwise.

On a clear day, the new guy breezed into AP Russian like he owned the place, lounging in the teacher's chair, feet up on the desk, feet clad in worn but acceptable black converses scribbled all over in silver Sharpie. It was after class hours, and Roxas had been reading in the room because his abnoxious roomate was playing his damn sitar every waking moment he wasn't in class. He eyed the new guy with one eyebrow raised.

Whacked hair, like frozen flames. Tattoos, the mark of a true rebel, black under his eyes; teardrops, as if he was mocking the clowns who applied their makeup in a simillar fashion. Pale, lanky, very punk-bohemian, if it was possible to be so. Green eyes staring into space, seeming to glow in the fluorescent lights.

Slightly irritated that someone had invaded his space, Roxas spoke up. "Who're you?" The lumious eyes snapped onto him, widening.

"Wagh!" The new guy fell out of the chair in surprise, and Roxas raised an eyebrow.

"What the fuck..." He muttered to himself. Rolling his electric blues, he stood up from his chair. "You alright?" He watched as the new guy picked himself up, using the desk for support.

"Don't _scare_ a guy like that!" The new guy drawled, his voice somewhat nasaly. "I mean, geez, when the hell did you get here?"

"I've _been_ here, you ignoramus. Didn't you notice?" The new guy blinked.

"Actually, no." If it were an anime (or perhaps a humor fic), Roxas would have face-faulted. Instead he rolled his eyes once more.

"Space cadet," He muttered, sitting down once again to read his book, hoping that the new guy would leave him alone.

When the new guy's shadow fell onto his book, he didn't turn around.

"I'm Axel."

"Hm?"

"Who I am. Axel. Got it memorized?" The blonde snorted.

"That your catchphrase?" He asked sarcasticly. "You use that to woo the ladies?"

"Sometimes. They know I'm foolin', though." Roxas heard the creak of the desk as this Axel character sat on it. "So..."

"So what?"

"So, who the hell are you?"

"...Roxas."

"Oh." Roxas could feel the smirk Axel was giving him behind his back. He squirmed slightly. "I've heard of you. _You're_ the genius language major all the professors are in a tizzy about."

"Yeah, what of it?" The blonde boy turned to the next page.

"Oh, nothing at all. It's just, I heard you're taking Russian, German, Italian, Chinese..."

"Not Chinese. Japanese."

"Pfft, same thing."

"No, not at all. Japan uses three seperate alphabets, China uses one."

"Whatever." The desk creaked a little more. "Point is, you're a human translator." Axel leaned over Roxas's shoulder; he could feel the strange boy's breath on his ear and squirmed a little more. "What's that you're reading?"

"Uhm...Tolstoy."

"Who?"

"A Russian writer. Look, are you gonna leave soon? This is the only place I ever get any peace."

"...Maybe. Why don't you turn around?"

A sigh. "Because I find this book more facinating than you trying to hit on me."

"Hm. Riku was right; you _are_ a snarky little bitch." Roxas visibly stiffened at his words. "Ooh, I've hit a nerve. Axel, one; Roxas, zero."

Roxas even surprised himself when he whipped around to face the other boy.

"Listen, I don't know what the fuck your problem is, or why you have to harass me, or why you'd bring that _dickhead_ into the conversation, but I resent being called a little bitch. Snarky, I embrace. But little bitch? Little bitch?!" He scrunched up his nose in frustration. "I am NOT little, NOR a bitch!" His yell echoed throughout the empty lecture hall. Panting, he glared right into those vibrant greens with his electric blues.

For once, it seemed that Axel was at a loss for words. His mouth hung open slightly, and a red tint appeared in his cheeks.

"...Holy hell, you're cute up close."

"...What?!" Roxas leaned as far back as he could in his chair. "W-Wh-What? Excuse me?" Axel smirked.

"You heard what I said. You're cute. Hot, even. No, no..." He snapped his fingers, as if the perfect thought came to him. "You're fucking adorable." Roxas raised an eyebrow.

"I've been nothing but rude to you. You find that adorable?" The readhead nodded eagerly. Roxas sighed. "Well, you're an annoying bastard."

"...Say it in Russian."

"No."

"But it'd be kinky if you said it in Russian!"

"...No, it'd be kinky if I said it in French. French is the language of love, after all."

"Pssh, French, Russian, all the same."

"...No, not all the same. Vastly different, actually."

"I know. I just like messing with yah." And with that, Axel grinned. It was almost manic, but it was completely innocent...and that was when Roxas realized it.

Axel wasn't your average kinda guy. He actually meant what he said.

And then Roxas smiled, because...neither was he. So maybe it wasn't too surprising when he said:

"Wanna go out sometime? Yah look like you're a better fuck than Riku."

And maybe it wasn't too strange when Axel responded:

"Only if you think you can handle it, yah pervy bunny."

...

A/N: XDDD Ahah, yeah...Roxas is my pervy bunny...they're supposed to be in college. And the Tolstoy-loving teacher mentioned in the veeeeeery beggining was based off of a Creative Writing teacher I had a couple years ago who used to talk about Tolstoy...and he was a really cool guy, too, really great guy...man, i sure miss him...

ANYway...I hope you enjoyed this. It's definitely my best work to date, and it came out better than expected!! Ja Ne! - AnimeDutchess


End file.
